im actually going to cry
Friendly reminder that Tom Felton improvised this scene because he forgot his line.
A+ acting, would cackle again.
I love how he looks genuinely impressed in the last gif.
I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND
THIS MAN HAS BEEN A THIEF HIS WHOLE LIFE
BUT HE JUST BOUGHT HER SOMETHING
SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO HER
In Berlin, after World War II, money was short, supplies were tight, and it seemed like everyone was hungry. At that time, people were telling the tale of a young woman who saw a blind man picking his way through a crowd. The two started to talk. The man asked her for a favor: could she deliver the letter to the address on the envelope? Well, it was on her way home, so she agreed.
She started out to deliver the message, when she turned around to see if there was anything else the blind man needed. But she spotted him hurrying through the crowd without his smoked glasses or white cane. She was, naturally, suspicious, so she went to the police.
When the police paid a visit to the address on the envelope, they made a gruesome discovery, three butchers had been harvesting human flesh and selling it to the starving people.
And what was in the envelope the man gave to the woman? A note, saying simply “This is the last one I am sending you today.”
IT TOOK ME A SECOND TO REALIZE WHAT THE LETTER MEANT AND NOW IM FREAKING OUT
this makes me uncomfortable
I love history
WHATEVER YOU DO DO NOT BUY HERITAGE BRAND CHEESE SINGLES LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HORRIFIC MORNING
TODAY I DECIDED I WANTED SOME GRILLED CHEESE SO I PULLED OUT OF THE FRIDGE THIS PACKET OF SINGLES THAT MY MOM BOUGHT AT SOME CHEAPO STORE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING SANDED WASTELANDS (AKA WINCO)
I TOOK THESE THINGS OUT OF THE FRIDGE AND IMMEDIATELY THEY WOULDN’T FUCKING OPEN. YOU KNOW THAT SMOOTH SLIDE YOU GET WHEN YOU OPEN UP A KRAFT SINGLE? FUCKING NONE OF THAT. THEY WRAPPING WAS LITERALLY PART OF THE CHEESE AND IT HAD BEEN TORN TO SHREDS BY THE TIME IT LANDED ON MY SANDWICH.
THAT WAS THE SECOND RED FLAG. THE FIRST WAS THAT IT SAID “IMITATION PASTEURIZED PROCESS CHEESE FOOD" ON THE FRONT. THEY THROW IMITATION OUT THERE IN FRONT LIKE A FUCKING DISCLAIMER, BUT THEY ADD “FOOD” JUST TO REASSURE YOU THAT YEAH, THIS SHOULD BE EDIBLE.
THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WERE SO SLIMY TO THE TOUCH I WOULD THINK THAT A FUCKING SLUG EJACULATED ON THEM IF I DIDN’T KNOW BETTER. ACTUALLY, THAT’S NOT VERY FAR-FETCHED GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCE.
I SMELLED THESE PIECES OF SHIT AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA I INSTANTLY REGRETTED BECAUSE THE FRAGRANCE THAT ASSAULTED MY NOSTRILS WAS THAT OF PLASTIC. THE KIND MY DINOSAUR ACTION FIGURES WERE MADE OF AS A KID. I WAS IMMEDIATELY TAKEN TO MY CHILDHOOD, A BETTER PLACE WHERE MY SANDWICHES DIDN’T LOOK LIKE SATAN SPAWN AFTER I WAS DONE COOKING THEM.
AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT I PUT CHEESE’S MENTALLY UNSTABLE STEP-COUSIN ON THE BREAD AND GRILLED THAT SHIT IN A BUBBLING PAN OF BUTTER, HOPING TO CHRIST THAT I WOULD GET SOME DECENT ABSTINENCE IN ME WITHOUT PROJECTILE VOMITING. I WAS WRONG. I WAS SO WRONG.
I DON’T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS, BUT CHEESE TYPICALLY MELTS WHEN YOU PUT IT ON BREAD AND IN A FUCKING PAN WITH THE HEAT TURNED UP. WHEN MINE DID NOT AFTER THE BREAD WAS NEAR BURNED TO A CRISP, I DECIDED TO BREAK THE UNIVERSAL LAWS OF CHEESE GRILLING AND PUT MY SANDWICH IN THE MICROWAVE.
AFTER MINUTES IN THE MICROWAVE IT WAS NOT MELTED BUT INSTEAD RESEMBLED A PAIR OF CAKEY COUCH CUSHIONS THAT SOMEONE HAD PUT THEIR DICK INSIDE AND FUCKED SO HARD THEY NEEDED A DENTIST TO GET THE STUFFING OUT OF THEIR ESOPHAGUS. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE WAS THAT I WOULD PROBABLY BEEN MUCH MORE EXCITED TO EAT THE STUFFING.
DON’T BUY THESE ASSHOLES AND THEIR FAKE, CHEESY, DISGUSTING LIES.
This is it. My post has reached the Godliest of Tiers.
reblogging again for that gif
If you’re having a bad day, just watch this sleeping kitten.
Its tiny black nose, its little cushioned black jellybean toes, the halo of silver moonlight hairs on the silky black fur.
MY COMPUTER SCREWED UP AND THE GIF STOPPED AND I GOT WORRIED
^ AW THATS SO CUTE
I will never understand people who think Tinkerbell is cute and girly and innocent like
Have you ever seen Peter Pan
She tries to MURDER WENDY
also she’s a jealous monster
why is all her merchandise flowery and completely opposite to her personality
and in the original book she “swears like a sailor”
Ok so when i went to this church retreat thing this guy was telling us a story about his friend who was sitting on a plane next to Eminem the rapper but she had no clue that it was him ok. So he like looked at her and was like ” you arent going to ask for an autograph or anything??” and she was like “what?” He was all like “im eminem!” and literally she had the most confused look her face bc she had no idea who he was and her response was, “and I’m skittles?”
The luckiest car owner in the world.
That’s some final destination shit. They’re probs gonna get killed by a tanning booth or some shit